Portfolio – Divorce and Family Law in New York State

What can you expect when you and your family encounter family law issues such as separation and divorce, custody of your children or of your relatives’ children, children in trouble with the criminal law, and questions of paternity?

Family Law and Matrimonial issues constitute a very special category of appeals. In these appeals, the legal system directly intrudes on the most sacred of relationships – the free choice of two people to join in the strongest bond known outside that of blood – marriage – and its natural fruits – children. What happens when problems cause family members to consider turning to the legal system for resolution?

Legal entanglements in the area encompassed by family law are so stressful that family court personnel must be trained to deal with parties experiencing heart attacks, strokes, or other major symptoms while appearing in court. It is also not often realized that family court staff must be alert to the possibility of major outbursts and even attempted violence by parties and witnesses. Such are the intensely strong emotions triggered by families forced into the legal system. Family law appeals, where one party cares enough to go through a lengthly and expensive process to reverse an undesired decision, are a form of slow stress with an uncertain outcome.

There are alternatives to going through this legal mill. At any point along the way, the parties, usually husband and wife, may agree to agree instead of fighting with each other through the legal system. As one of the best matrimonial trial awyers I ever met is wont to say, “You can put your children through school, or mine.” Nowadays, mediation is commonly available, and where children are involved, it is infinitely better for them, for the parents or guardians to arrive at a voluntarily undertaken arrangement rather than leave it up to the order of the judge.

However, sometimes parties cannot agree. Often, one spouse is cooperative and willing to settle matters peacefully, but the other spouse acts out attempts to use the legal system to carry on private battles. This is not gender dependent. As in any arena of life, limits must be set. Sometimes legal intervention is necessary. Sometimes one party may feel that the judges decision is truly in error. Then an appeal must be undertaken.

It should be noted that, just as in any other appeal, the trial-level judge’s perceptions are given much respect by the appellate-level judges. The lower court, after all, had the opportunity to observe the demeanor of the parties and of the witnesses. The appellate judges are typically looking at a pile of paper, not human beings. Even the oral argument is typically rather brief, and the appellate judges never even meet the parties.

Nevertheless, sometimes the lower court is reversed by the appellate court. Sometimes, the parties are given another chance at a new trial or hearing. Judges are human and sometimes do not observe the letter of the law in their decisions in overcrowded and typically judicially understaffed courts. Thus, justice can be had eventually.

It is the devout hope of this writer that you settle any family law issues peacefully, through mediation, knowing that that is a better road to follow. However, if you must go to court, it is also the hope of this writer that you will accept a fair decision and live with it, but be prepared to contest one where justice has not been done.